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Chris Donovan vs. Shane Lewis
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Revelations!
***
“Hey, I’ve got to get back to the office.” Chris murmured to Damon as he stood up.
“Are you okay?” Concern laced Damon’s voice. Chris looked…not himself.
‘No. I’m not fucking okay.’ Chris wanted say to his friend but he didn’t want Damon to get even more worried than he looked. Chris worked to say something, but he couldn’t even talk past all the hurt and anger whirling within him right then. He swallowed past the dry lump in his throat.
“I’m fine.” Chris said in a hoarse voice. “Talk to you later.” With that, he turned around and headed for the door.
“Mr. Donovan, can you please wait.” Shane called out but Chris didn’t stop. “Chris!” Shane bellowed getting the attention of everyone in the showroom, including Chris, who stopped without turning around. “Can I see you in my office, please.” Shane said in a tense voice. Then he turned around and started towards another door.
Everyone in the room felt the tension between the two men but no one said anything. The brunette looked at Chris with a curious suspicion and then left the showroom with Adele.
“What the hell was that about?” Damon muttered when Chris got to his side. He could tell Chris was more than angry. Hell, he would be too if anyone called him out like that. “Care to tell me what’s going on?” Damon sounded concerned and tense, his voice forcing Chris to turn to look at him.
“We’ll talk about it later.” Chris growled softly and followed Shane through the door.
Shane entered his office and leaned against the desk and then folded his arms across his broad chest. He was angry. He didn’t know why but he just was. Maybe it was the accusation and condemnation he’d seen in Chris’ eyes just before he’d turned to leave the showroom. What the fuck was Chris’ problem? If anyone should have that look in their eyes, it should be him and not Chris, Shane fumed. Chris entered the office, closed the door, and then turned around to face Shane with a look of anger and hurt on his face.
“Did you want something?” Chris’ asked coolly.
“Don’t ever walk away when I’m talking to you.” Shane didn’t raise his voice but the command in his tone was clear.
Chris’ jaw dropped as his eyes widened in shock. “What…?” No one spoke to him like that. No one! Anger simmered inside his chest as his fists clenched in anger.
“Out there. You heard me call your name but you kept going. That should never happen again.” Shane sounded cold.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Chris whispered, as he tried to maintain a tight control over the anger bubbling inside him. “And who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”
“Oh I’m talking to you.” Shane said in a chilling voice as he shrugged out of his jacket. “Now, care to tell me what that was about?” Shane growled, looking every bit like the powerful, successful businessman that he was.
Chris stared at Shane incredulously. Not only was he shocked at Shane’s attitude towards him, he was also surprised the man could even ask what the ‘problem’ was. “Do you really need to ask?” Chris asked quietly, trying to suppress his quickly rising temper. “Did you forget that tiny detail about being married with a daughter?”
Shane went from angry to furious so quickly his head ached. First off, he couldn’t fathom why a man such as Chris would jump to conclusion without talking to him first. Secondly, did Chris think simply because they spent time together, everything was peachy? What they had wasn’t a fucking happy reunion for fuck’s sake, Shane thought with indignation. The fact that he hung out with Chris didn’t mean he trusted him enough to tell him about things he held dear. Hell, Chris was the last person he should trust. Shane proceeded to tell Chris exactly that.
“What gives you the right to expect me to tell you everything about my life?” Shane’s eyes flashed with annoyance, his voice filled with incredulity.
Chris stiffened. “What?” Chris couldn’t suppress his shock. He looked more bewildered than angry.
“No, seriously…I’d like to know, Chris.” Shane’s cold voice raised in anger. “You think some stalking, few drinks, a hand job and phone sex gives you the right to…”
Shock sluiced through Chris as if he’d jumped into an icy stream. Stunned disbelief didn’t even begin to describe the expression on Chris’ face at Shane’s words. “Shane…” Chris couldn’t mask the anguish in his voice as Shane’s words ripped through him. The full implication of those words slammed into Chris, stealing his breath, replacing it with pain so intense, he nearly doubled over.
“Just being very open here.” Shane’s clenched fists and taut jaw showed just how angry he was. Seeing how his words affected Chris surprisingly gave him some satisfaction. He wanted to lash out at Chris…to hurt him just as Chris had hurt him with his actions and words all those years ago. Somewhere, in the depths of his brain, he knew he was being stupid, trying to mask his fear and guilt yalova escort under anger, yet he couldn’t help himself. Guilt for not trusting Chris enough to tell him about his daughter. And fear that Chris might pull away from him.
Chris opened his mouth but nothing came out. He would have had better success deciphering a Chinese soap opera than understanding what was going on that very moment. His stomach lurched as betrayal stung his heart and shock blanched his blood. What he’d shared with Shane meant a lot to him and he thought it had meant something to Shane too. But with Shane’s words, what they’d shared had suddenly become dirty. And that hurt real bad.
“Shane, please don’t spoil things.” Chris rasped.
“Spoil things?” Shane gave a sharp humourless laugh. “You made sure of that a long time ago.” There was so much fury and pain in Shane’s voice Chris just knew that Shane’s pent-up anger and pain from all those years ago was finally flying to the surface.
Chris felt his chest tighten with regret and disappointment. It was one thing having Shane angry at him, it was totally another seeing the hurt in his eyes. It ripped Chris apart. Though he knew it was a good thing for Shane to finally let it out, he felt that was neither the time nor the place to talk about their problems. “Can we not talk about this now?” Chris said quietly.
“I think we should. I mean, we have to talk about that shit at a point don’t you think?” Shane sneered, his voice booming inside the office.
Every word Shane spoke stabbed at the open wound in Chris’ chest. Chris could feel himself tremble with shock and pain at those words. He swallowed hard. “Shane, will you lower your voice before people…”
“Oh don’t worry about people hearing me.” Shane growled. “Each room in this house is sound proof. Wouldn’t know where one would fall asleep would we?” He added with a sneer, causing an intense feeling of shame and guilt to overcome Chris. Shane saw the emotions ran across Chris’ face and hated what he was doing but he just couldn’t stop.
“I’m sorr…” Chris started to say automatically but got cut off by a furious Shane.
“Spare me the…” Shane trailed off when the door to the office burst open and the brunette stepped inside. Her angry eyes immediately went to Chris.
“Chris?” Though her gaze remained on Chris, her question was directed at Shane.
“Lizzie…” Shane pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, whilst Chris looked from Shane to the obviously boiling brunette.
“Answer me, Shane.” Lizzie’s eyes, which were still trained on Chris, flashed with anger as she inched closer to Chris. “Is this Chris?”
“Yes.” Shane muttered.
Before Chris could blink, Lizzie’s fist swung and landed on his nose with such force he was sure his nose was broken.
“Fuck.” Chris groaned in pain as his hand went to his nose. “What the fuck!” He growled when his hand came back with blood on it. For a lady, Shane’s wife could dish it out real hard, Chris thought with respect despite the pain he was going through.
“Lizzie…” Shane said in shock, pulling Lizzie away from Chris before she could land a second blow. “What has come over you?” He wrapped his arms around Lizzie from behind, locking his arms around her arms. “Will you calm down?”
“Now listen and listen good, you asshole.” Lizzie addressed Chris in a trembling voice, as Chris wiped his bleeding nose with his handkerchief. “If you so much as say one mean word to him, or even look at him with an insulting eye, I’ll kill you. That’s a promise…”
“Lizzie it’s okay…” Shane murmured into Lizzie’s hair. Chris couldn’t help but notice that Shane seemed to be holding on to Lizzie not to stop Lizzie from attacking him, but rather for the need to hold on to something…anything. Shane was shaking like a leaf as he held the angry woman.
“You’ve done enough to ruin his life.” Lizzie went on. “If he were your brother or your son or your friend, you would want to kill you too, trust me. Do you know that thanks to you, the mere thought of commitment terrifies him? He doesn’t trust anyone enough to be in a relationship. He has all this…” Lizzie rolled her eyes, her cheeks wet with angry tears. “But he doesn’t have anyone to share it with, or love because of what you did to him. God, you are evil. To actually tell someone he is worthless and doesn’t deserve to live after he’d given you pleasure. Who does that? If you could do that as a kid, I shiver to think what you’re capable of all grown up. Do well to remember my promise buddy. Because after I’m done with you, I’ll make the life of anyone you love a living hell.”
With that last threat, Lizzie turned within Shane’s arms and cupped his cheeks within her palms. Shane wiped the tears from Lizzie’s cheeks and leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead. He hadn’t bothered stopping Lizzie from venting because he knew her very well…and knew that she would never be okay till she’d said her piece.
“I’ll be fine.” He said softly. “I promise. Okay?”
Lizzie nodded. “I’ll tell Adele yozgat escort you have a lot of work to do so you’ll come see her later. Okay?”
Shane nodded. “I’ll pass by this evening before she goes to bed. My regards to Sam.”
“I’ll tell him. Take care.” Then with a final glare at Chris, Lizzie left the office.
Shane stared at Chris, his eyes filled with unmistakable guilt. Chris stared back with sad and defeated eyes framed by impossibly long lashes. Shane’s heart was racing… One look into Chris’ eyes and he could see into his very soul…he could see Chris’ pain and desolation. One look, and whatever Chris had done in the past didn’t seem so important anymore. All the fight seeped out of Shane, leaving regret in its wake. He didn’t know what was going through Chris’ mind at that particular moment. He was dying to know but knew he couldn’t ask. Not after his harsh words to Chris earlier. Damn, why had he said all that, Shane cussed himself silently. Seeing how hurt and crushed Chris was and knowing that his cruel words were the cause of Chris’ pain was killing Shane.
Chris stared down at the bloody handkerchief in his hand. He felt numb inside. Fortunately his nose didn’t feel like it was broken and the bleeding had stopped. He was strung too tight with too many emotions he simply wanted to turn around and walk away but first, he needed to know… “Is it true?” Chris asked quietly.
“Is what true?” Shane asked, moving to stand in front of Chris. When he raised his hand towards Chris’ face with the clear intention of touching his face, Chris moved out of reach. With a look of regret and an unhappy sigh, Shane allowed his hands to fall by his side.
“Is it true you’ve…never been in a relationship?”
Yes, Shane had never been in a relationship before but that was not something a man went around telling others. It had been almost two years since he’d even been with anyone sexually. When he really needed to, he always had his hand. It did help him satisfy the physical need for release, but it didn’t stop the craving for companionship sometimes. There were a thousand and one ladies out there who would jump at the chance of being in a relationship with Shane but he just wasn’t interested. And he’d never wanted to go near guys again because of his experience with Chris. Somehow, the mere thought of being with a guy terrified him, though he knew there was nothing to be afraid of. He’d learned to cope with what life had to offer him and he was okay with it…till now. He wanted it all!
“How’s your nose?” Shane asked instead of answering Chris’ question.
“You don’t have to pretend to be concerned about me please.”
That hurt. “Fuck you, Chris.” Shane breathed.
Much as Chris felt betrayed, hurt and regretful for Shane’s behavior, words and all that had gone on in that office, he was angry as well. After all, he was human. Chris, however, couldn’t help but feel he didn’t have any right to stay angry at Shane, or even get angry no matter what Shane did to him. Though what Shane had told him was hurtful, Shane had been angry at him for years and had every right to vent whenever he felt like it. Chris just hoped he would be strong enough to hold it in as he’d done that day. He wasn’t the kind of person who allowed himself to be walked over and treated like trash but he was going to try for Shane’s sake, Chris thought grimly. But although he’d psyched himself up to suppress his anger no matter what, Chris knew that at that very moment, he was hanging on to his emotions by a very thin thread. He was on the edge of emotionally falling apart. His best option was to get out of Shane’s office whilst he still had a hold on the explosion churning within him.
“I’m out of here.” Chris said in a hoarse voice and turned to go.
Panic swirled within Shane’s chest, nearly suffocating him. “She’s not my wife.” He said quietly…desperately.
“As you pointed out, you don’t owe me any…”
“I’m sorry.” Shane’s voice sounded so anguished Chris turned to face him. “I shouldn’t have said what I did.”
“You damn well shouldn’t have.” Chris’ voice was deadly quietly. To say Shane’s words had shaken him was an understatement. With those words, Shane had rubbished all that Chris had been feeling inside. Much as those feelings were a shock to his system, they grew every day and every minute and he was getting so used to them. Christ, he wanted Shane to be his with every fiber of his being so he welcomed those emotions. They felt good, pure, refreshing and exciting. And Chris didn’t have any intention of giving it up… ‘Oh fuck!’ Chris groaned silently, shocked at his line of thought. What the fuck was he thinking? The man obviously didn’t feel the same way about him as he did. “I know what I’ve done is despicable and I’m the last person you should have around you but…” Chris shrugged. “That was low.”
“I know.” Shane sighed.
“Listen, I’ll just get out of your hair ’cause with all that I’ve done to you, you’ll be better off…”
“Chris…”
“Don’t worry, Shane. I understand. ankara escort If I were you, I wouldn’t want to see me right now…”
“Well, I’m not you, damnit.” Shane growled. “And you know me better than to think I don’t want to see you.” He sounded distraught and frustrated.
“Do I?” Chris’ eyebrow shot up questioningly. “I’m sorry I ruined your life. If I could go back in time and change what I did, I would in a heartbeat. But I can’t. What I said to you was cruel and I’m sorry, Shane. I know sorry isn’t enough but please know that I am. And for the rest of my life, I’ll never stop apologizing.” Chris sighed. “I don’t think you are worthless, Shane. Not even back then when I said it. I didn’t mean what I said. I…I had really strong feelings for you and I knew you felt the same way about me. But I also thought that what we felt for each other wasn’t appropriate and I knew my father would kill me if he got to know. I really tried to curb it but I wasn’t strong enough to stop the way I felt about you. Shane I was terrified, but…I just couldn’t stop how I felt. At a point I even thought the only way to get it to stop was to hurt you enough to get you to stop having any feelings towards me. I mean if you stopped being your usual sweet self, showing me so much affection, then maybe…all that I felt for you would cease…right?”
Chris buried his face in his hands and gave an anguished groan. “But I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you.” Chris’s hands fell back to his sides with his fists clenched. “Then that night, things escalated to another level. For me, it was so good there was no turning back. And it wasn’t just the physical aspect. It was everything. The feeling inside…it was just too much. I just…snapped. You have no idea just how much I regret doing what I did to you. I’m so sorry. As for not deserving to live, if anyone doesn’t deserve to live, it’s me. I’m so sorry, Shane. I really am.” Chris looked so miserable, his designer suit didn’t even help conceal how defeated he looked.
Shane nodded, his handsome face filled with so much understanding and hope. “She was my best friend.” Shane said softly. “She is my best friend. Five years ago I made a big breakthrough in one of my businesses and she came over so we could celebrate. We got drunk. Then we fell asleep. I told you I never sleep around people. But I was drunk. Then…in the middle of the night…” Shane sighed. He didn’t need to say what happened. Chris already knew. “Lizzie was too shocked to wake me up…she heard everything. When I woke up, as I always do immediately after an episode, she was crying quietly beside me. She asked me who Chris was and I told her everything. I guess I was still drunk.” Shane gave a humourless laughter. “She cried some more, I comforted her, one thing led to another…it never happened again. But that one time was all it took. Lizzie got pregnant.” Shane smiled then. “That’s one mistake I’ve never regretted. She’s happily married now. But we’re still the best of friends. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my daughter.”
“She’s beautiful.” Chris said quietly. “And she has a lovely name.”
“Thanks. Lizzie’s mother is French. She hasn’t been too well of late. They’ve been there for the past month, visiting her.” Shane said, explaining the absence of his daughter. “Chris, I’m sorry about what I said earlier.”
“Don’t worry about it. You were right. I don’t have any right…”
“I’m sorry.” Shane whispered, cutting Chris off.
“Okay.” Chris sighed. Somehow Shane being sorry for what he’d said didn’t make it any easier. “I have to go.”
“Will you come back?” Shane asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
“I told you I would. But I won’t stay for long so you can go see Adele.” Chris said.
“Thanks.” Shane said looking at Chris’ nose. “You still have some blood on…” He gestured to his own nose.
“I’ll just use your washroom if you don’t mind.”
Shane’s smile was sad. “I don’t. This way.” Shane said and turned to lead the way to the washroom.
“So is Lizzie a professional boxer by any chance?”
Shane burst into laughter. “We became friends in a gym. She’s very athletic. And yes, she boxes but she’s not a professional boxer. She’s in the army.”
“Oh crap.” Chris groaned. “Just my luck. Now I know I’m gonna get shot.”
Shane’s laughter was so contagious Chris joined in. And even as Chris tried to clean his bloody nose as best as he could so as not to raise eyebrows when he got to his office, both men couldn’t stop laughing.
***
When Chris got out of his sleek metallic silver Mercedes-Benz SL-Class in Shane’s garage, Shane was already there waiting for him. Immediately Chris got out and closed his door, Shane attacked. He pushed Chris against his car and captured his mouth in a kiss so hot Chris’ toes curled inside his shoes. Their first kiss…it was simply mind-blowing. Chris shuddered when he felt Shane’s warm tongue tickle his lips tentatively, requesting admittance. With a moan his lips parted and all the emotions that had been swirling through the two men since they met again, exploded. Both men moaned into the kiss, getting hard within seconds. Everything they felt for each other was poured into that first kiss. Their tongues dueled, teeth clashed, they couldn’t get enough of each other. The kiss was broken only by the need for air, and then their lips met again and again.
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